6.5 / 10 Actioncome... Access

The dialogue was snappy, but not too snappy. For every witty one-liner Miller delivered, he followed it up with a joke about his cholesterol. He wasn't the hero the city deserved, but he was the one they could afford on a mid-range streaming budget.

Our protagonist, Detective Miller, knew this feeling well. He lived his life at a 6.5. He didn't have a tragic backstory involving a lost family; he just had a moderately annoying ex-wife named Susan and a dog that only listened to him about 65% of the time. 6.5 / 10 ActionCome...

The scene opened with Miller "Action-Comedying" his way through a warehouse. He didn't do a tactical slide; he tripped over a crate of knock-off sneakers, accidentally headbutting a henchman in the process. The dialogue was snappy, but not too snappy

"Let’s call it a tactical stumble," Miller wheezed, adjusting his tie. Our protagonist, Detective Miller, knew this feeling well

"It’s over, Vane!" Miller shouted over the sound of a helicopter that was clearly CGI. "Give up the beans!" The villain laughed. "You're a mediocre cop, Miller!"

The screen cut to black just as an upbeat pop-rock song from 2014 started playing. The audience walked out feeling neither changed nor disappointed. They had been entertained exactly as much as they expected to be.