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The professor froze. Three hundred students turned in unison. Alex scrambled, his face turning a shade of red that would make Eric Cartman proud. He dug through his bag, but in his panic, he couldn't find the phone. By the time he reached the third verse—where the lyrics get notoriously "colorful"—the professor had slowly lowered his glasses.

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Suddenly, the silence was shattered by the unmistakable, twangy bassline of Primus. blared from Alex’s backpack at max volume. but in his panic